— Life —


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I have supported the Aids Memorial from the very beginning because what is remembered, lives. My generation of hair stylists, makeup artists, models, photographers… Everyone was affected by AIDS.

I knew I was at risk.

After getting a fake diagnosis from my gynecologist, I got a real test at St. Barnabas Hospital in New Jersey. My mom drove me. That was 1987. At first the doctor refused to test me because he said I looked too “mainstream.” I had to wait two weeks for the results.

I had a number or a ticket. Two weeks later I went back and saw all the sadness in the halls, again. A nurse came towards me with my ticket number, and she was smiling. When I left, I went home and practically destroyed everything. All diaries, gone. All I have are visions of what people in that year went through.

There was no hope at that time, and everyone around me was sick and dying. That sadness will never go away.


  • 1010ParkPlace May 10, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    I can’t imagine what that was like, Sandy. It must have been scary and devastating to see your friends and colleagues dying and you must have felt so very vulnerable. xoxox, Brenda

  • Donna O'Klock May 23, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    I remember, Sandy… so much loss. So many friends, co-workers, mentors, and masters. Gone.
    Thank you for sharing this very personal piece.
    I was just saying the other day how grateful I am for all of my friends who are alive and well, living with an HIV diagnosis for more than 20 years now.

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