Browsing Tag

MP Mueller

— Relationships —

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When I stand in the checkout line at my grocery store, I scan the 46 varieties of high cocoa chocolate bars, finally settling on the sea salt, habanero pepper version to toss in my cart. Followed by, “Oh shit, I forgot my grocery bags.” Again. Cue the cashier: “Did you bring your bags?” Followed by me mumbling no, I forgot. Followed by the stink eye from the cashier.

You can tell a lot about people from the bags they use to tote their groceries home. Continue Reading

— Life —

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Driving around my Austin neighborhood recently, I spotted the addition of a new road sign. The yellow “Speed Bumps” had been replaced with one that reads “Speed Cushions.” Well that’s a relief. Or just good marketing by the road caretakers? Did driving over them feel any different to my car and passengers? How we reframe things in our minds makes them easier to embrace. Wrinkles around the mouth? Laugh lines. Muffin top-ness? Love handles.

It made me wish that my gyno nurse practitioner embraced the fine art of euphemisms. For 15 years we had our annual trysts on the exam table… me in the stirrups; she with the ice cold metal thingy.

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