— Life —

Excuse My Rant…But Really?

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I want to join in the chorus of my 1010 Park Place colleagues who are ranting about self-absorbed people who feel entitled to live an easy life. Kim Alexis wrote a fabulous piece about the narcissistic society that has been created by people who are constantly promoting themselves rather than serving. Esther Zimmer brilliantly pointed out that creating a life you love does not equal a life of ease. Now, it’s my turn.

I received an email with “an incredible free gift,” promoting a new book and online community—one of the many I receive because someone might have gotten my card at an event, or they have connected with me on LinkedIn—i.e., I didn’t give this person permission to add me to her mailing list.

This new sure-to-make-me-a-successful-millionaire training said “Use this Manifestation  Breakthrough Kit to FORCE the Universe to Give You Your DREAM Life…” (caps included in the original promotion) without hard work or struggle.


First, you cannot force the universe to do anything on your behalf. You are a microscopic being in a creation that you have absolutely no control over. The planets, gravity, rain, wind, sun, moon and everything else that is in play at any given moment will not bow to your dreams. There are millions of people in the world who will go about their days without you, even after you have gleaned this new knowledge out of the Manifestation Breakthrough Kit. You can only control your own actions, and your dream life will come when you have clarity of purpose and a plan to achieve your dreams—which includes doing the work. Your dream life will not magically fall out of the sky after you read this new book or listen to the “transformational MP3.”

Next, I was promised a “rush of excitement, surging through your chest” after listening to the audio. What really gives me a rush of excitement is spending time with my grandchildren, walking alongside a woman who connects with her God-given purpose and finds new hope, or supporting a non-profit that rescues women from sex trafficking. My “wealth” comes from treasured relationships and the opportunity to serve others, and my success does not come from material possessions.

Yes, we live in a world filled with people who want to just think it, and it will happen. I prefer to dream big dreams; seek the wisdom of those who are smarter than I am, and live outside my comfort zone as I work tirelessly to leave my mark on the world.

I cherish the universe I live in and its Creator, and appreciate that all the tiny little parts work together to support my life, not submit to my life. I love being in authentic communities of women who want to encourage one another through their stories of failures, perseverance and victories. And I know that my struggles will be what draw other women to me and give them permission to be real, not intimidated by how I have commanded the universe to give me what I want.

Vision your dream life, then work to make it happen! You already have what you need to make life count.



  • 1010 Park Place June 6, 2016 at 8:13 am

    How–more importantly, why–has our generation raised the most self-absorbed generation in history? Why did we think we were doing them a favor by leading them down a fairytale lane where everyone wins? I’d really like to know. xoxo, Brenda

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      Brenda, I think way too many parents have abdicated their responsibilities. We raised three wonderful young adults who are self-sufficient and wise. We have never thrown our hands up and said “I give up” when they were challenging us. R-E-S-P-E-C-T was alive and well in our household, and we had BOUNDARIES! What’s up with the watering down of rules these days? It seems people want no moral absolutes any more. How terribly sad for our great country, and for our families.

  • Michelle June 6, 2016 at 8:18 am

    I love this!

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      Thanks, Michelle! I rarely get so agitated, but this put me over the edge. So many people trying to sucker others in to buying their “quick fixes” so THEY can be rich and famous!

  • Haralee June 6, 2016 at 8:41 am

    My Mother used to call me as a teenager a Force of Nature, and it was not a good thing!

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Haralee, I’m sure many of us heard that from our mothers when we were teenagers! I am just thankful I survived long enough to become smart in my “old age.”

  • Ellen Dolgen June 6, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Great words of wisdom.I do try to make life count – each and every day!

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      Thanks, Ellen! Great to hear from you! And I know you definitely make life count as you live out your passions every day.

  • Glenda June 6, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Unfortunately there are churches who teach, If you believe you’ll receive. Such a misfortune to be led in this manner. Your words were perfectly put.

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      Glenda, I never have read in the Bible where I would receive great fortune just by “manifesting” it. There is a big difference in eternal rewards vs. earthly wealth, isn’t there?

  • barbara June 6, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    It is so sad seeing such gullibility in this day and age. Brenda’s right, we are seeing a generation of self-absorbed kids and they got that way from the helicopter parents. Great piece.

    • Susan Tolles June 6, 2016 at 5:47 pm

      I totally agaree, Barbara. It breaks my heart that my grandchildren are inheriting such a mess. I will continue to do everything I can–and I’m sure my children will too–to make sure those in my lineage will live with strong moral values and never expect a handout, or “instant success” from some self-proclaimed guru of transformation. We all know that it just doesn’t work that way.

  • Jen Lawrence June 7, 2016 at 9:12 am

    Forcing the universe. Gah! I do believe in the power of positive thinking and think that the universe can almost magical at times, but this approach seems so tacky and grasping. I’ve had a lot of earthly bounty in my day, like these kinds of programs promise and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I think we are meant to serve, to learn to be content with what we have and to, in the words of a meme I like, spread kindness like nutella. Great post.

    • Susan Tolles June 7, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      What a wonderful way to look at spreading kindness…like nutella! You are so right, Jen. Having earthly “stuff” is not what abundant living is all about. Seems like we have to reach “a certain age” before we figure that out, though. Meanwhile, there are a few who prey on the gullible and fill their coffers to overflowing while making promises they can’t keep. Time for a reality check!

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