Early in life I discovered that if I wanted to do something, I shouldn’t sit back and wait for it to magically happen. That’s called daydreaming, and while it’s fun to fantasize, it’s also a good way to wind up with our dreams unfulfilled.
Instead, I learned I needed to “choose it” and then make it happen.
As kids, most of us tried on different ideas of who we wanted to be—a businesswoman, an actress, maybe a teacher—but at some point, if we didn’t take the reins and do something that moved us in the direction we wanted to go, we were like the flotsam and jetsam that drifted across the ocean. We were rudderless. Now, as grownups, many of us are at an age where we’re feeling adrift: The kids are gone; we’ve retired from our job, and we’re wondering what to do with the next chapter of our lives.
Some of us may be content, right where we are, but if we’re trying on different hats, again, and we find one that fits…then what? How do we make our daydream manifest itself? Many of us think that because we’ve reached a certain age, our dreams are out of reach, but that’s not true! Just because the calendar adds another year, we still dream. And we are the only ones who can make them come to life.
For a long time, a girlfriend of mine has been unhappy in a professional position she’s held for twenty-five years, but she wasn’t ready to retire. Instead, she submitted her resume to a new company and applied for a marketing position she’d never held. There was lots of competition from qualified people, half her age. She’s 72-years-old. At the interview, when they asked her why she wanted to work there she said, “I want a new challenge. I want to be where the action is.” No doubt her resume, her wisdom, life experience, and her brilliant answer clinched the deal, because she got the job!
Way to go, girlfriend! I’m proud of you!
When it comes time to think about the next phase of our life, it doesn’t matter whether we’re like my friend, and we apply for a job with a different company, outside our field, or we like to put puzzles together and decide to challenge ourselves with a 10,000-piece puzzle. I encourage all of us to reach out and go for it, because where are we without inspiration, new challenges, and goals to strive for in life? Without them, we stagnate and get old before our time.
Be it love, laughter, a new job, a place we’ve always wanted to visit, or maybe we’re still looking for the person we want to become, we are a reflection of what we draw to us.
Who makes it happen? We make it happen. What are you waiting for?
23 thoughts on “OUR NEXT CHAPTER, WHO WILL WE BE?”
For me this is possibly one of the most inspiring, important and relevant posts you’ve done. I am glad you included other perspectives beside that of a successful career woman. Some of us haven’t followed a long and satisfying career path but still have longings, yearnings and unfinished stories. Thank you!
I’m glad this post struck a chord with you Barbara. Thank you for letting me know. Regardless where we are in life we all have hopes and dreams yet to accomplish. I hope to spur people on to think about their unfinished stories. xoxo, Brenda
I’m like the flotsam and jetsam on the sea. I’ve just gone where the winds blow me. Got pregnant then married and took part time jobs. It’s been so long since I was the little girl who had dreams I’m not sure where to start but I’d like something for me.
Miriam, Your comment made me realize that few of us know what we want to do when we’re 18 or 28, and by the time we’re 38, many of us feel trapped in our profession and don’t have a way out. I know several people who became what their parents wanted them to become, and they’re miserable, like their parents. What if you make two columns and in one, write down the things you’re good at and the other, things you like to do, no matter how insignificant they may seem to you. Then start dreaming about what you’d like to do and list those in a third column. Don’t censor any of your lists because you think something might be out of your reach. Think about them for a while. Really think about them. I’m betting there’s the kernel of the next phase of your life on that page. If something really resonates with you, then start a new list with the pros and cons… why it would and would not be a good fit for you… and what you need in order to make it become a reality. Let me know what you come up with. Perhaps I can help you think through your list and the possibilities. xoxox, Brenda
Your words are very insightful and remind me somewhat of the teachings of William James and David Hawkins. I’ve been studying both their works this month and both men say if you change your inner attitudes, you can change the outer aspects of your life. I believe as we age it’s important to envision more possibilities for happiness.
Colleen, You’re the insightful one, and I agree: Finding ways to change how we feel about ourselves, others, life has a remarkable change in the way we go about our lives. I’m familiar with some of the teachings of Dr. David Hawkins. When I went online to read more about both men, I discovered a TedTalk by Dr. Daniel Amen, ,psychiatrist and expert on studying nuclear brain scans which led him to correlate cause and effect for everything from depression, dementia, criminal activity, etc. Here’s the TedTalk link you might be interested in, and it shows other talks by him. Amazing and insightful! https://youtu.be/esPRsT-lmw8 xoxox, Brenda
What an excellent response your girlfriend had when she was responding to the interviewee’s question. An individual with a wealth of experience is a
huge asset to a company. It spells you made it and survived all the ups and downs and came up successful in spite of the difficult times. It speaks so much
to a person’s character.
I really like what you said, “we are a reflection of what we draw to us.”
Glad you enjoyed this, Katherine. My mother is the one who frequently said, “We are a reflection of that which we draw to us.” xoxox, Brenda
Your post comes at a good time. My husband’s not ready to retire so I’m thinking about what I’ll do since our plans were based on both of us being retired. Thanks for spurring me on because we do get old if we have nothing to do or look forward to.
Laura, Happy my post has given you food for thought, and actually, your situation is an entire blog post in itself. While it’s easy to have our plans linked to our spouse, it’s crucial that we stand on our own…in every way…incase we divorce, they die, or in your case, our plans get derailed. Actually this is a huge part of the memoir I’ve written. I wasn’t standing on my own because I was so tightly tethered to my husband. xoxox, Brenda
I love your thoughtful posts and that you brought this topic up. I both agree and disagree. I lived my early life a bit ‘blown by the wind’, but looking back the wind led me in great and rich directions. Perhaps it was more of ‘what I drew to me’ as you say, more of listening to my intuition and grabbing that particular ring. Over 60 years, I have gone from foreign-language tour guide in San Francisco to Renaissance clothes-maker for the early Faire, to traveling around the world on the ‘hippie trail’, to practicing and teaching Integrative Massage, Polarity Therapy and finally Trager Movement Education for 25 years. The latter allowed me to travel to Canada and Europe many times, teaching in French and Italian as well as English. This career was followed, after a mild stroke, by Image Consulting and Home Staging locally for some years. Now in a happy retirement, I have followed offerings and intuition into Improv Theater and Voiceover plus many other activities. All of these activities over the years.had an underlayment of depression and anxiety, for which I have done personal growth and spiritual work, psychotherapy and have taken various combinations of meds. I am in a good period now and now believe, from a 12 step program I am in, that I need to do a combination of ‘footwork’ and letting go for change to happen. I ask regularly for what I need to be doing now, and practice values re-evaluation every few years. I feel a new change of direction might be coming, so I am asking openly, opening myself to offerings and intuition and ready to follow a new ‘wind’. Life is good.
Sheila, Like Miriam, your comments shows me I generalized when I made it sound like not grabbing the reins of our lives would lead to a detrimental outcome. That’s not true. Obviously you’ve had an intriguing and rich life full of amazing careers and experiences. We should all be open armed and welcoming when we think about the next phase of our life. Brava! Thank you for your wonderful comment. xoxox, Brenda
Great advice and inspiration, Brenda. xo
Hi Juliet!! Love seeing you here! Thanks for stopping by and reading and leaving me a comment. Hope you’re enjoying your beautiful home! xoxox, Brenda
Sheila, Like Miriam, your comments shows me I generalized when I made it sound like not grabbing the reins of our lives would lead to a detrimental outcome. That’s not true. Obviously you’ve had an intriguing and rich life full of amazing careers and experiences. We should all be open armed and welcoming when we think about the next phase of our life. Brava! Thank you for your wonderful comment. xoxox, Brenda
I so agree with you. Be curious and just do it. I started a YouTube channel at 81. I’m way behind everyone else. But I want to try. It’s new and challenging. A new experience.
My Darling Sandra, You are AHEAD of 98% of the rest of us. You are a trailblazer and a warrior, and I love you for it. Brava! Brenda
BRILLIANT POST!
XOXO
Thank you, Elizabeth! xoxox, Brenda
I love this post Brenda. I feel like this is the best time of our lives. Look at Sandra what she has done and what she is doing. She is as sharp or wait sharper than most 30-year-olds. Age really is just a number, isn’t it. Hats off to your friend!
Thank you, Cindy! We are mentally and physically fierce and agile, and Sandra offers the hope that we’ll be as fierce when we’re her age! So glad you like this post my friend. xoxox, Brenda
Best. Post. Ever. Thank you for this Lady; words I needed to hear right now! Karen xoxo
I’m glad Karen!! What if I be your cheerleader, and you be mine? We can never have too many people to encourage us and root for us. xoxox, Brenda
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