I’m beginning to think I missed something big on the news. Something catastrophic in nature—like perhaps the planets have fallen out of alignment, or the gravitational pull of the moon has increased to the point it makes men and machines malfunction and go wacko. Like my computer that was hacked by an unknown Russian entity, or so said the signature on the invasive documents most of the people on my email list received. The hack was beyond the Geek Squad and the geniuses at the Apple Store’s standard “change your password” advice. They were stumped. Thank goodness my brilliant techy friend stopped by a week later, or I’d still be unable to communicate digitally. And I think I’m pretty tech savvy.
Then there’s my brand new LG dryer that would only work for 10 minutes and then shut off, and the roofer who said he wanted to kiss me and wouldn’t shut up. Yes, from where I sit, man and machines have gone mad.
It’s alarming when the customer service people at LG’s 1-800 number put you on hold while they ask their supervisor for help. Then that person puts you on hold while they ask their supervisor, but the real rub is when none of them have an answer. So, for the last six weeks, I’ve been washing my clothes in my new LG washer, then putting them in a cardboard box and taking them to the laundromat to dry them. (No. I don’t own a plastic laundry basket. A girlfriend already asked me that.)
Something about me doesn’t fit in at my nearest laundromat—the roofer said I didn’t “look like a laundromat kind of girl”—because every week, someone there meets me at the door and asks if they can help me. The first week I answered “yes” because who knew real money only works to purchase extra time on your existing laundromat credit card? Laundromat credit card? What happened to quarters and dollar bill changers? And in order to get a laundromat credit card, you have to pay for it with another credit card, in a different machine, on the other side of the building, and it only takes MasterCard.
Now, about the roofer… First, I need to back up to the third LG supervisor, twice removed who, on another call, said my dryer vent could be clogged. Sure enough, the dryer vent cleaner—he’s been here a few times over the years—removed a pile of dog hair and lint, but since he described himself as “too fat” to climb up in my attic to check the rest of the pipes, he called a roofer he knew.
It’s been a longtime since anyone came on to me. It’s not that I missed the signs. I just hoped if I ignored them, they’d go away.
But the roofer was like a dog in heat… He hugged me before he left… Hugged me! Then, 10 minutes later, he called and said he’d never done this before, but he had this overwhelming desire to kiss me. I’m guessing this approach has worked before… The lady of the house was home alone, and perhaps she invited him back? Who knows, but my alarm bells were telling me to tread lightly—this guy could have some screws loose—so I told him that while I was flattered, I was sorry if I’d done anything to make him misread the situation.
“No, you didn’t,” he said. “But I’m hoping you’ll tell me to turn around and come back.”
Seriously?
So back to my original question: Have the planets fallen out of alignment? Am I missing something?
51 thoughts on “HAVE THE PLANETS FALLEN OUT OF ALIGNMENT?”
omg, I love this blog. The roofer tho . The planets are definitely spinning differently
Sometimes I think the whole word’s gone mad. Thank you, Treena! xoxox, B
Was he hot?
Nondescript and chewed his nails. No! xoxox, Brenda
Something strange happening…. definitely…
Thanks for the confirmation, Hilda. If you feel it way way across the pond, then something’s off. xoxox, Brenda
Oh no, I’m getting my roof fixed on Friday……..
LOL! Don’t let him in the house! xoxox, Brenda
Wow Brenda,
Sounds like some extra sparks and twinkle whirling around in your space!!! lol
Not sure who you call for that one, the ghostbusters team has been disbanded! Have yourself a chance for some new writing material maybe. Sounds interesting
Ghostbusters! Who ya gonna call? HaHaHa! That’s a riot, Susan. xoxox, Brenda
Haha! Ghostbusters! Good one Susan. I’ve not met you in person but I know enough to agree with the roofer and say “you’re not a laundromat kind of girl.” You’re elegant, together and polished! Oh, Brenda! This is hysterical.
Thank you, Paulette. I wish you’d been here for all of it. I could have put him on speakerphone for you to hear him. So bizarre! xoxox, Brenda
Mercury retrograde?? Yes, some odd things seem to be happening but this too will pass 🙂
You, too, Pat? Oh, my! Hasn’t Mercury been in retrograde for a couple of years now? When I first started looking for a literary agent, a NYT bestselling author friend wanted me to wait three months because of Mercury. xoxox, Brenda
Have you checked your horoscope lately? At least you might have had some advance warning.
No, I haven’t. Perhaps that’s the problem. Strange times we’re living in, yes? xoxox, Brenda
All I can say is I lead a boring life compared to yours.
I wouldn’t say that, Connie. Maybe the planets are better aligned at your house. I’ve hope so! xoxox, Brenda
These sound like things that happen to me – I was laughing so hard Brenda, not at your expense, but at the feeling that this is like a deja vu of something that has happened to me. This post is too funny!
You too, Terry? Perhaps it’s that we’re so fetching looking, and not that the world is titled on it axis. LOL! In the abstract, it’s funny, but at the time, I was frustrated beyond measure with LG and couldn’t believe the roofer was propositioning me! Crazy! Stay safe! xoxox, Brenda
Wow….sometimes things really do go crazy!!! Regarding machines, I decided
after some similar situations, when possible to buy machines that do not have bells and whistles and an electronic components that wears out way before the rest of the machine. A repair person told me the simpler the machine, the longer it will last….the electric panel usually goes first and costs the most! Just like with doctors I always ask what would you buy? It is amazing what you can find out and also how well simple things work!!!
That’s great advice, Sue, and generally I try to follow it. Like when I bought the simplest refrigerator I could find. The salesperson couldn’t understand why I didn’t want one with a camera inside so when I was at the grocery store, I could see what I needed. Generally my motto is “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” Sure, refrigerator companies can install cameras inside and televisions on the outside door panel, but do we need them? Did they do a survey that said people want these, or is this another sign the world is going crazy? xoxox, Brenda
What planets?
HaHaHa!!! Are things that crazy at your house? I hope not. xoxox, Brenda
Men are strange. As one, I know all too well. One of the things at which we seem to excel, is the complete inability to comprehend nuance, especially regarding our gender compliment.
I hope Annie is doing well!
ps. bated anticipation doesn’t begin to describe the arrival 5/20 of Maya Blue!
I’ll agree about that, Mark. Men are lacking in nuance and let’s add insight. Hope you enjoy Maya Blue!
I remember my Nana would always serve espresso and biscotti to the gas man or meter man..front door always unlocked..now it’s Fort Knox at my house and I don’t even want to make eye contact with repairmen..lol – what a shame..always an adventure!
CJ, Woah! I’m assuming Nana wasn’t receptive to any advances, or did that even happen back in the day? It was a different story at my house. My mother wouldn’t even open the door for the boy who mowed the yard. It is a shame, but that’s the world we live in now. xoxox, Brenda
Received a letter from the city, we are under water restrictions because of drought. How in the world will I survive with only 2000 gallons allowed? Looks like I will be going to the laundromat to wash even though I have a new washer and dryer. Yes crazy times. I also am not a laundromat girl but tough times call for this.
Kay, Is that 2,000 gallons a day, week or a month? And what happenes if you go over it? Please tell me they don’t cut off your water supply. The good thing about the laundromat… It’s great people watching! xoxox, Brenda
Received a letter from the city, we are under water restrictions because of drought. How in the world will I survive with only 2000 gallons allowed? Looks like I will be going to the laundromat to wash even though I have a new washer and dryer. Yes crazy times. I also am not a laundromat girl but tough times call for this.
Hi there
I laughed all the way to bed after reading about the roofer! And I’m starting to laugh again.
I always goggle problems to see if I can get an answer.
I got an e-mail from “you”, I knew it was not from you as it was not your style so did not open the attachment.
Speaking of Apple – a lot sure depends on who you get. I couldn’t get into my account – 1st tech of no help. Came back in eve got a different tech – oh sure I can help – open and running in 1/2 hr.
Another told me I needed a new MacBook – as old etc -problem can’t be fixed – yes it is old but the next tech told me to go to a 3rd party and buy a new battery! Yeah all’s been well now for 7 months.
Planets definitely out of alignment – guy did not stop the other day – he was dumbfounded that he hit my car! Well of course if you didn’t stop like you should have then you would hit me!
Glad you’re blog is up and running again.
Rosemarie, So smart of you not to open the attachment on the email you thought was from me. I don’t know if anyone opened it, but it’s been a real headache. Kept me from posting my blog for weeks. Everything I did triggered a new problem. I will say this about computers… At some point, even a new battery won’t help. It doesn’t take long before your computer is an antique. Eventually, your operating system, etc., won’t work with newer programs, even getting on the internet will be a problem. Everytime I buy a new computer, I dislike the expense, and getting used to the new upgrades and their idiosynracies, but ultimately, it’s a good thing. xoxox, Brenda
Texas and its people!!
Did you see they have installed CAMERAS IN DALLAS at the airport to snap a photo of your “private parts”to check your SEX?
Let me see if I can find that and send to you!!That will fit right in here with the rest of your story!!!
Good Grief maybe it’s time for a security guard or MORE DOGS‼️
Xoxo
I saw the video you sent me on Instagram, but it’s not just Texans. The whole world has gone batshit crazy. I’m installing more lights and an alarm system. Inside and outside, I’m prepared. xoxox, Brenda
Brenda,
I heard masculinity is on the rise (don’t read that the wrong way) and I guess roofer guy got the memo. Hahahaha
No. I think the roofer is a twisted little creep. If he had any masculinity and confidence in himself, he wouldn’t approach women this way. I pity the woman he married. Surely she has some alarm bells that have gone off about him. xoxox, Brenda
Oh WOW, Brenda … just WOW!!
LOL! Crazy, right? ❤️
Hahahaha you had me giggling!! I’m not a laundromat (also known as washateria in East Texas) kind of girl either!! Glad your antenna was up! You can never be too safe!! Love you!!
Washateria! I haven’t heard that term in eons, Tammy! HaHaHa! When I check into a hotel, I think of you and your stalker. Sadly, we all need to have our antenna up 24/7. So happy you didn’t open the door. ❤️❤️❤️
I remember when i was stuck with a low credit score of 437 and i couldn’t get approved for anything, so i decided to talk to my loan officer if she could help me out and she introduced me to an online credit repair expert which i read about him online and a lot of people kept rating him and writing good reviews about him. He was able to raise my credit score to 780 .He promised to help me build my credit so i could secure a loan and came through within just 3 weeks. you all can also contact him if you need help for credit repair through his email at GREENWATERCREDITFIX1 @ GMAIL DOT COM
Hello Brenda! So glad you’re back. I was wondering what happened when I didn’t receive any new posts As I decided to write you a note to see if you were ok I open my laptop and there you were. Very happy to see you’re back and sorry to hear about the issues that you had to face (computer)and are still facing with your dryer. Very hard to get help nowadays with those stupid Call Centers. They don’t seem to know anything. I am always waging war with them. Being paid for doing nothing. I long for the good old days when you could talk to a ‘competent’ person. As for the roofer, who knows? Take care and smooth sailing from now on, I hope. You were missed!
Thank you, Yvonne! Yes, for weeks I couldn’t post a blog, but all is well. I appreciate your concern. So sweet! I missed you as well. Too often it’s difficult to understand the people at the call centers because of their accent–plus I’m not sure how much training they’ve had–which can escalate the frustration with a problematic appliance… even our computers. Apple’s call center has made more problems for me than they’ve fixed. XOXOX, Brenda
Hi Brenda,
I was thinking of you just the other day. Glad to hear from you today. Oh my goodness, you have been through some very strange odd stuff.
I’m glad you have a great sense of humor and have your wits about you.
Wow, laundromats have certainly changed. NO, you are not a laundromat girl.
On a side note we have had our two LG washer and dryers for many years, with no issues ever. I sure hope all this gets resolved.
The computer invasion is troubling.
Too many weird and strange things going on.
Sending and hoping you have a WONDERFUL week. I’m sure your fur baby, Annie brought you some comfort.
Warm caring hugs.
Hi Katherine, It’s good to know I was missed, because I missed you as well. Fortunately my computer and the website are now okay. I’m beginning to wonder who we can trust for advice about roofers, plumbers, etc. Angie’s List suggested a wacko. Don’t remember if you read that blog. Instead of giving me an estimate, he put his hand around my wrist and wanted to take me inside the house so he could give me his “two hour presentation” on astro turf for my backyard. Still gives me the shivers. I will always remember his name–Greg Richter–and warn women as often as I can. xoxox, Brenda
Dear Brenda,
No, I did not hear about this horrid creep Greg Richter. We live in AZ. How frightening and so very scary. We do not trust Angie’s list. Are you on “Next Door” sometimes under their headings they have people that are listed, they come through people that have used their services.
Brenda, since we both have been violated by men it gets me so angry inside that any man feels they have the right to see you in a different light. Aren’t you into all the time “Trust But Verify” mode? That way it can keep you out of potential trouble. Also to make sure the person knows your husband is in the other room. I hope your Annie is a good watch dog. When you are attractive and stand out in a crowd that even makes you more vulnerable.
Katherine, “Trust but verify… ” Unless my alarm bells go off, and sometimes they do immediately, I’m friendly, but trust is earned. Annie’s a great guard dog. So am I. xoxox, Brenda
Your roofer experience gave me a laugh! A few years ago I had a similar experience with a painter that my husband and I had used several times– he did interior and exterior painting on our home plus 2 rental houses. When dealing with him in person he was completely professional but then he would text me things such as “You are so pretty” and “I’ve missed getting to see you.” My husband and I thought it was pretty funny, especially because when I would deal with him in person there was no hint at all of a come-on. It was especially weird because he was about 40 and I was 70 at the time!! We always used him because he always does an impeccable job.
It’s getting closer to book time! Yay!!
Hi Kathy, The roofer and I have a similar age difference, but I don’t think it’s funny. Certainly not after he called me. Book time… YES!!! Three months from now! When they’re all confirmed, I’ll post the book events I’m doing around the country. I hope you can come to one of them! I’d love to meet you! xoxox, Brenda
Ofttimes we wonder if we missed something, has the apocalypse begun. I’m so glad you have Annie as a guard dog.