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GOODBYE FOR NOW

Lionel Richie & Brenda Coffee. Photograph courtesy of Lionel Richie, 2019.
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Dear Friends, This will be my last regular blog post for a while because I’m stepping away to work on my memoir. Writing a blog and a memoir require different writing muscles and voices, and I can’t do both at the same time. This hasn’t been an easy decision. In fact I’ve put it off for several months, but the time has come. 

Did you know you are the ones who’ve encouraged me to write my story?

Over the years many of you have asked how I’ve survived the things life has put in my path and how I’ve managed to remain so strong and upbeat? It’s been a conscious decision, not by faking it, but by doing the necessary work on myself to recuperate from whatever took me down. It’s not always been easy, but I realized to do otherwise was not in my best interest. 

My friend and former 1010ParkPlace blogger, Esther Zimmer, once left a comment on one of my blogs that was more perceptive than she could have known: “If these are the things you’re willing to share with us, what are the things you’re not telling us?” The answer, dear Essie, is a lot!

I’ve always contemplated writing a book, but for a long time I thought it would be about my first husband. A brilliant man who was revered and admired and whose life–and my life as well–took a turn no one could have predicted. A turn, until now, I’ve kept secret. And then there was my being taken… I now realize it is my story, the choices I made and that I’ve survived it. All of it.

“It was a fairytale until it wasn’t.”

That I went… 

“ …from being an overprotected only child with asthma—who wasn’t allowed to take PE or go barefoot—to becoming Ramborella and the last one standing.”

That said, this isn’t totally goodbye. Look for me in your inbox because from time to time I will send things for you to think about and snippets from my memoir. I want to know how each of you are doing, so I hope you’ll let me know with your comments. Just like you know some of my story, I know some of your stories as well, and I will miss hearing from you, my friends.

Lionel Richie, August 2019. Photograph by ©Brenda Coffee

I’ll also send things that might interest you like my visit with Lionel Richie a few months ago. My first husband and I financed some of Lionel’s early concerts with the Commodores. He is a genuinely sweet and charming man. When you’re talking with Lionel he has a way of leaning in and taking both of your hands in his, laser focused on every word you say. 

I don’t know how long this book process, revisions and finding an agent will take, so I don’t have a timeline as to when I’ll be back full-time. It also means I won’t be posting anyone else’s blog post so look for Jill Anthony and her “silver-haired girl on the go,” Hildie Plumpepper, on Instagram, Donna O’Klock on her blog, SexyPast60, and Kim Alexis on Instagram. I’m so grateful for their friendship and thank them for being part of 1010ParkPlace.

Thank you for the privilege of writing for you and thank you for reading. I hope in some small way I’ve lifted you up when you’ve needed it because you have done that for me. I love and appreciate you more than you know. 

The days are flying past faster and faster, so promise yourself that you’ll make each day count. Draw only good things and people into your life and let go of what doesn’t serve you well. Have confidence in your abilities and step outside your comfort zone. Do things that challenge you along with those things you’ve always wanted to do, and do them with the knowledge God is with you. Until next time…

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Hi Girlfriends,

I’m proud to say that 1010ParkPlace™ has been voted one of the Top Ten Blogs for women over 50: the best-educated, wealthiest, most powerful demographic in history.

Here you will get a glimpse into the lives of other women, learn how they handled things life put in their path like divorce, the death of a spouse, serious health issues, low self-esteem, addiction and how to reinvent yourself after a major life change. You will find like-minded women and relevant conversations about finances, fashion, sex, books, music, films and food. We feature interviews with inspiring women along with straight-talk and bold conversations to reawaken your passions and make life count.

Brenda’s Blog has between a 58.4% and a 68.7% click thru rate, which is unheard of. My readers tell me it’s because I’m sassy and transparent, they trust me and no topic is off limits.

Tell your girlfriends, sisters and coworkers about 1010ParkPlace. We have lots of exciting interviews planned and stay tuned for updates about my memoir! 

#WhereStyleIsAgeless   #MakeLifeCount   #WhatAreYouWaitingFor

124 thoughts on “GOODBYE FOR NOW”

    • Deb, If I make it too juicy, with all the details… Readers will need hand holding to the nearest mental institution. Thank you, sweet friend, for your treasured support. xoxox, Brenda

  3. Exciting, wanting your book since forever.

    Writing my books, brain certainly had demands. Mornings till noon, writing. Lunch, in the garden, gardening involved. Afternoons, editing. Morning brain and afternoon brain, separate entities.

    Love pushing the gas on this V8, you can feel it when you drive, aka my brain.

    BTW, for all of my books, I stopped doing design work, writing was full time. More, I could feel the changes in brain wiring.

    Happy for you, and selfishly awaiting my copy of your book.

    Garden & Be Well, Tara

    • Dear Tara, I wrote all weekend and the changes in my brain are happening. Total emersion, writing only this memoir is what I’ve needed all along. Not part time, whenever I can find time. You know the drill. Thank you for all of your support! xoxox, Brenda

  5. I am already missing your voice in my mailbox Brenda but am beyond eager to hear the rest of your story. You’ve encouraged me to re-consider how I view my own story and for that, thank you. All the best until we hear from you again

    • Thank you, Shannon! I’m grateful I’ve been of support to you as you’ve navigated your path. It’s sometimes helpful to get a perspective on things from someone else. Hope to touch base again soon! xoxox, Brenda

  6. I will miss you but I am SO proud of you for telling your whole story! I cannot wait to read it and share it!
    If you need to do any venting, need inspiration or advice call me xxxooo

    • Doreen, You are my role model for writing great memoirs. Ones that are full of truth and heart and that make us think. If I need your wise encouragement, you are on speed dial. Love, Brenda

  7. Love, adore and admire you, Brenda. Honored to call you my friend. You may be writing this book for you, though all of us know you are writing it for us. As you move into this next part of your life, you give me the courage to face and embrace the unknown, and to know that there is nothing I may face that can break me. We are all here for you as you move to this next part of your life’s victory lap. Hugs from NY.
    Love, Joyce

    • Dear Joyce, I was reading the comments and doing fine until I got to yours, and I teared up!! I remember meeting you, going upstairs at St. John’s and asking the guard to unlock the door and let you in… and then I couldn’t stay! That’s bothered me ever since. Thank you for your encouragement, and I’m happy to know I’ve encouraged you as well. Until we meet again. Love, Brenda

  8. Lionel Richie makes me swoon. The photo is great. I’m going to miss you and the blog every week. I look forward with anticipation to reading your book. Best Wishes and Love to you Brenda.

  9. We will all miss your weekly posts but this is for a good cause…your book! Wishing you all the best in this great endeavor. You are in my prayers. xoxo

    • Patricia, Thank you, so very much, for being a reader and leaving me comments that have contributed to our conversations here. I’m looking forward to coming back… giving you an update. xoxox, Brenda

  12. Brenda: I have enjoyed reading your blog for so many years now. Your frankness, honesty, insightful perspectives have entertained, informed and enlightened me is so many ways. From shaving your face, to talking about dryness for women of a certain age, to sharing your many life experiences, your move, your dogs, your fashion ideas, hair challenges, health insights, all your losses (husbands, mom) and on and on–I looked forward to your posts each Wednesday and Friday. I wish you the best and look forward to hearing from you in the future. I am proud of my fellow Trinity University alumna!

    • Oh, Lora! High compliments, coming from you. I’m grateful you gave me the opportunity to bring Jennifer Denton and interview you and get to know you better. You are a strong, smart woman, and I admire you. Here’s hoping your home has been finished for some time now, and all is well with you and yours. Thank you, again! xoxox, Brenda

  13. Brenda, I too will miss your blog, in a lot of ways it was the voice of reason in this crazy world we live in. I will be waiting for your return and anxiously looking forward to your book. Take good care of yourself and godspeed, we will be cheering you on from the sidelines!

    Deborah

    P.S. I have always loved Lionel Ritchie, he seems like the real deal and a true gentleman.

    • Deborah, Thank you for your sweet comment. I’ve tried to be the voice of reason and I’ve also tried not to step in anything political. The one time I talked about my firsthand experience in Guatemala I lost a dear reader… which shocked me! You’re right about Lionel. Unless he puts on a very good act… He’s a good man. xoxox, Brenda

  14. I will miss seeing your smiling face come across my inbox … but I am excited for what is ahead for you! Good luck with your new endeavor! I know you will shine. I enjoyed participating in your blog and appreciate your friendship! Godspeed Brenda! Keep us posted! xoxo Elaine

    • Thank you, Elaine. I’ve missed you, but you’ve had a lot on your plate, and you stepped out, unselfishly, with everything you’ve done. I admire you. Until next time. Love, Brenda

  15. Well damn! I really look forward to your insight! Not many good blogs left out there and yours has given me a lot to think about, not to mention that cute Vince skirt! However, your book sounds extremely insightful. Good luck and know that you will be missed. You are one courageous woman! Thanks for sharing your adventures, life, insight and life lessons with us all.

    • Anissa! Your comment made me laugh!! “Well damn!” LOL! I’m happy about the Vince skirt and for your kind words about my blog. Thank you. I appreciate that so much, and it’s why I keep writing… Hoping to be more than just noise in the background. Hope to be back soon! xoxox, Brenda

  16. While I will miss your wonderful blog, I am so glad you’re writing your memoir. Best of luck as you continue your writing and I look forward to reading your book. You have given such good advice on many topics,. This fellow Texan having just turned 70 has been encouraged by your words many times. Take care!
    Leigh

    • Dear Leigh, Fellow over 70 Texas lady… I’m so grateful you’ve been a reader, and I’m looking forward to posting more and finishing my book. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I appreciate you. xoxox, Brenda

  17. I’m a silent follower who will miss you. At the same time, it’s totally understandable why you’re doing this. When you first mentioned that you were writing your memoirs, I was excited because it will be a fascinating book. Best of everything.

    • Hello Julie! Nice to meet you! Thank you for following and reading. I appreciate your comment and am glad you’re interested in my book. I hope it doesn’t disappoint. xoxox, Brenda

  20. What an exciting path you are taking, Brenda. The decision to commit to the book full time is probably a good one. I wish you all the good luck in the world. xo

    • Sue, Thank you, sweet friend. When I need a break I will check out your blog and see what you’ve been wearing and reading and if you and Hubby have taken a trip. I appreciate your being a big part of 1010ParkPlace. xoxox, Brenda

  21. Yes , I join all the others , We Will Miss You ! , but at the same time hope you will enjoy writing your book … please pop in once in awhile and let us know how you are ..

  22. You have been such an inspiration to me. The snippets you’ve dropped here and some of the stories you’ve told, like your adventures in Mexico, made me wish we were in the same city so we could meet for drinks. I look forward to buying your book. Good luck with everything!
    PS: Now I’m thinking about who should play you in the movie version….

    • TOF, “Who will play me in the movie?” You sound like my friend, Sue. Don’t jinx me!! I just want to write a book that’s worthy of being published. I’m glad I’ve inspired you. Ditto about living in the same place and going out for drinks. So much more about your story I’d like to know. Thank you. xoxox, Brenda

  24. Oh gosh — I miss you and your blog already as I just read your last posting. I am sure your book will be worth the wait, but please don’t make this Wait too long. (Can’t wait to read your book though)

  25. The time is now Brenda, so glad you’ll be devoting all your efforts to your memoir. Before you know it you’ll be back with us with even more insights on life and love and how our past sets the course for all that happens in our future. As Socrates so wisely said “The unexamined life is not worth living “ I for one cannot wait to read about your life and what has lead you to us and all the the people who love and adore you. I’ll miss getting to read your insights on a regular basis but knowing something even far better and more powerful is on its way makes it’s okay. It’s worth waiting for! If you need a change of pace and you and your sweet puppy need some new and inspiring scenery I’ll leave the key under the mat in Telluride, just say the word .
    Much Love
    Cindy

    • Hi Cindy, You are a love, full of wisdom and offering me and Annie a place to stay! Wow! I’m honored. Would love to go walking on the beach with you, looking for seaglass. I’m wondering how many tons you’ve found and what do you do with it all? xoxox, Brenda

  26. You will be missed, however, will be on the lookout for messages to come and books lining the bookstore’s best sellers.

    xoxo,

    Sarah

  27. I will miss you and your blog feature. I will also look forward to reading your memoir. Blessings on you and your work.

  28. Love you Brenda! I’ll miss you but I’m so excited about reading your memoir…I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers.

  29. Bittersweet news, Brenda. I applaud you for stepping away to focus on this monumental project. I, like so many others, eagerly anticipate your book! xo

    • Hi Juliet, Thank you so much. I’m trying not to think of it as being monumental… but it is. Instead I’m thinking about how to eat an elephant! Until next time… xoxox, Brenda

    • Hi Alana, My blog isn’t coming to an end… I won’t be writing as often and hopefully will have a book at the end. Thank you so very much for reading and commenting. I appreciate you! xoxox, Brenda

  31. I will miss my visits with you here, however how wonderful for us that your book might be coming to us sooner than later! I’m sure this is not an easy task but you will succeed. Take good care of yourself and best of luck.

    • Jeannette, I’m going to miss my frequent visits with you as well, but it’s not forever. Just not on a regular basis. Thank you for reading and for your support and encouragement. I value and appreciate you. xoxox, Brenda

  32. Much love and well wishes with your project Brenda. I have loved your blog, although I have only been following you for the last year or so. I have felt a connection with you across this electronic forum and like many others, wished we lived closer so we could be gal pals IRL.
    May you be guided and inspired. Always, TJ from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia Xxxxxxxx

    • Dear TJ, I’m honored to have you as a reader and have loved every comment you’ve made. You’ve added so much to our conversations, here, and I look forward to posting again and seeing you here again. Cheers to you across the ocean! xoxox, Brenda

  33. Missing your posts already! Write your book and return with your brilliant light soon! Warmest regards from the South Hemisphere XOXO

    • Dear Wilma, “Return with your brilliant light… ” Oh! That makes me smile and feel appreciated, just as I appreciate you. Thank you so very much. I hope to see you here again soon. xoxox, Brenda

  34. Good for you!! This is a big step and I applaud you for taking it. We shall be here ready and waiting when you’ve finished. Now go sharpen those pencils and call me if you ever need a pep talk! xoxo

    • Mithra, You are definitely on my “call if need be” list, or perhaps I should take a break and come have tea in the spring in your greenhouse. I continue to appreciate your encouragement and support of my writing. You’ll be following me down this path some day. That I know! xoxox, Brenda

  36. Oh, how I’m going to miss you. Some of your posts have been extremely influential to me. Your enthusiasm and generosity of spirit have been such a gift to us!
    Please write quickly as we can’t wait to read more about your life!!

    • Dearest Sally, I shall miss you as well. Thank you for telling me I’ve made a difference in your life. I appreciate that and you and value you more than you know. Take care… Until next time! xoxox, Brenda

    • Marika, I’ll be posting from time to time, so you’ll here from me before the book is finished. Hope you’re staying warm during this cold snap. Take care, sweet lady. Love, Brenda

  38. THERE SHE GOES…………….OFF TO DO HER THING!
    WE WILL BE HERE WHEN YOU RETURN and ENJOY ANY LITTLE SNIPPET YOU SEND OUR WAY!!!!!!
    WE WOULD BE HAPPY TO PROOF READ A PAGE OR TWO FROM THE BOOK!!HA!!!
    HOW EXCITING YOU ARE REALLY DOING IT!!!!!!!
    I WISH YOU THE BEST AND ABSOLUTELY NO WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!
    GO FOR IT!!
    XOXOX

    • Elizabeth, I’m really doing it!! Did you doubt it? LOL! I will send snippets from time to time and keep up with you on Instagram and when I see you in the spring. Thank you for your support and friendship! Love, Brenda

  39. Brenda, while I am sad to see your blog on hiatus, I’m more excited that you are writing full-time. We will all be waiting with baited breath for your book release. You and Annie hunker down over the winter and get’er done!
    P.S. When you reply to my comments, I feel like a celebrity is acknowledging my presence!
    P.P.S. Lance Rentzel/Joey Heatherton!

    • Dear Terry, LOL! You’re sweet. I will tell Annie you said “WE” need to hunker down and get ‘er done!” Thank you for reading and all the times you’ve commented and your encouragement. BTW… Just looked up Lance Rentzel. Can you believe he’s 76?” Eeek! xoxox, Brenda

  40. I am so excited for you Brenda. What a brave but necessary step. There are so many more words in you, waiting to be let out. I had the privilege of hearing some of them at Haven and still remember thinking what an incredible book this is going to be. You go girl… I will be waiting with bated breath.

    • Thank you Cynthia! I saw your photo on Laura’s FB page. Wish I’d been part of that group. I hope this means you’re continuing to write as well. Keep me posted! xoxox, Brenda

  43. Blessings to you on your journey through your inner and outer life. Can’t wait to read it! Godspeed, Sheila-Merle

    • Blessings to you as well, Sheila-Merle and thank you for all of your comments and your support. I hope to see you on Instagram. Where have you been? I hope all is well. xoxox, Brenda

  44. So proud of you, Brenda, and excited to get to read your book! We will all be here waiting when you get back. Even my husband will miss you in the meantime! I often read him posts you’ve written, and last week he asked if I’d seen anything from you lately! Can’t wait to hear your snippets! Love and admire you so much, and am grateful you’re focusing on your memoir. Godspeed, friend! Praying for you!

    • Beckye, I appreciate your prayers! Thank you so very much. When mother was alive I knew she was at least one person who kept me in their prayers. I didn’t know you sometimes read your husband my blogs. I’m wondering what he thought of my slings and arrows at male grooming? Actually I have quite a number of men who are regular readers. One is a former “muckity muck” of one of the top beauty brands. “We will all be waiting here when you get back.” Thanks so much for that! I was afraid everyone would forget me and when they see my name in their email inbox they’ll say, “Brenda who?” Love, Brenda

      • LOL He’s pretty good at grooming, so I skipped that one! My dear Brenda, we could never forget you! I can’t wait for the snippets and for your book to come out. I’m so proud of you doing the hard work it’s taking to do this. I charge you, should you reach a point where you hit the wall or think you can’t go further, to come back and read this love letter from your supporters. We’re behind you and are for you! Happy to pray. If you need specific or unspoken prayer, just let me know. Much love!

        • Beckey, You are a woman after my own heart: a rock and a woman of faith and I thank you! I’ll touch base if I’m feeling overwhelmed and need your prayerful petitions. Love, Brenda

  45. I will miss your positive, straight-up attitude and your stories. But I take comfort in knowing that, after the pain of separation will come the rewards for our patience! 😉 Have fun writing!

    • Oh, Diane! “Your positive, straight-up attitude and your stories… ” Thank you so much. When I started blogging I wondered if anyone would want the kind of blogs I write? Perhaps they’d prefer something that was more like a newspaper article and less of my humor and stories, but wonderful readers, like you, have shown me there’s a place for me here. So thank you! Until next time… Take care and thank you for always being here! I appreciate you. xoxox, Brenda

  46. So happy for you. I will miss you. Thank you for your sharing life and light. I really look forward to a little snippet coming via e- mail. Please update as well your beloved pup. Looking forward to the book.

    • Cindy, I will update you and send little snippets, and I’ll tell Annie you mentioned her. She saw a picture of herself I posted on Instagram and was quite taken with it. Thank you so very much for reading and leaving me comments. I have loved your support. xoxox, Brenda

  48. Your words may resonate more than you know – thank you for your honesty, grace and humor – will miss your writing but so look forward to your memoir – good luck, best wishes and godspeed

    • Teri, Your words “resonate” with me, so thank you for your support and encouragement and all the comments you’ve left me. I look forward to coming back with another post and seeing you here again. xoxox, Brenda

  49. Brenda, You go girl!!!! Write your story the way only you can & we will all be here to cheer you on!!!! Can’t wait for your best seller!!!!

  51. Hi Brenda,

    I wish you much success with your book – all aspects of the process. Writing my memoir was certainly a learning experience for me. There are a few things I’d do differently if I were writing it today, but I’m so glad I went through the process. You were the first “real blogger” that read and commented on my blog, and your encouragement meant the world to me. So again, thank you. Women writers supporting other women writers is so important for so many reasons.

    I look forward to reading your book, Brenda. Good luck writing it.

    • Hi Nancy, I remember when I found your blog. It was so well written and in a different class from the others I was reading. I’ve appreciated you as well as a supporter, so thank you. Be well. Until next time… xoxox, Brenda

    • Thank you, Lauren. Some of the time will be exciting, but I have a hunch most of it will be determination to cross the finish line with the very best I can write. I appreciate your encouragement. xoxox, Brenda

  53. You are a courageous woman! I look forward to reading your complete story… but will miss your blog…
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, hopes, memories, kindness, bravery… the list could go on and on…
    I think brave and courageous describes you best…. You’ve encouraged me along the way
    and I thank you for that.

    • I’m grateful to you, Penny, for letting me know I’ve encouraged you from time to time. That’s more than I could ask for, and yet, everything I hoped. Your descriptive words are kind and appreciated. Thank you! Thank you! xoxox, Brenda

  54. Brenda, Selfishly I’m sad you’re leaving. I’ll miss your wonderful blog. But I’m also happy I’ll get to read your writing in another form — a memoir! Can’t wait. Sounds like you have an amazing life story.

  55. Bitter sweet! Praying that it’s a smooth (as possible!) process for you, Brenda. I love Lionel! When I was in college at a lonely time, God used “Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” to speak to me! A college friend (not remembering her name) said she sat at an airport bar and the Commodores were there and she talked with them for a while and they were wonderful and mentioned they hoped they could show God’s love in their songs. Waiting for your “snippets”!!!

    • Hi Cat, Thanks for telling me both of those things about Lionel and the Commodores. If I remember correctly, he thought about becoming a minister and the Commodores all met in college and were like minded young men. From what little I know, your appreciation for Lionel is well-placed I think. I appreciate your support! Best to you and xoxox, Brenda

  56. Dear Brenda, How do I add to this love letter of comments from your adoring readers? Thank you for showing us we can get through anything. And life will still be sweet again. I wish you all the best and hurry back. xxxo Barb

    • Oh, my! Dear Barb… Your note is precious and beautiful. I thank you and everyone who reads my blog. As I said, you’ve been there for me, lifting me up when I needed it whether you knew it or not. I value and appreciate you and look forward to the next time! Take care. xoxox, Brenda

  57. I will miss your blog but, after spending all of last year writing my memoir, I understand. I tried to keep blogging while writing but, really didn’t manage it very well. I can’t wait for your book to come out!
    XOXO B.

    • Thanks Barbara for your encouragement and for reconfirming I’m doing the right thing. I have friends who don’t understand and suggest I blog on certain days and work on the memoir on others. I’ve tried that… xoxox, Brenda

  58. Well, I guess it’s all my fault. I was so anxious to read your story that you decided to give me what I wanted. That’ll teach me. Can I send you money for your first printing, first book? I can’t wait. I’ll try to be patient. I always looked forward to your posts on Friday. I’ll miss you terribly. But BRAVO to you. You’re doing it!!!!

    • Yes, Sandy! I’m doing it and it’s proving difficult to drop my blogging voice consistently and adopt a memoir voice. But I’m diligently working on it. Thank you for your encouragement. XOXOX, Brenda

  59. Thanks so much for your blog. I’ve been following for probably a year or so and have enjoyed your stories. Often you’ve given me food for thought, and other times you’ve simply entertained and made me smile. I look forward to your book. Good luck.

  60. Wow, Brenda! This is a fabulous photograph and an inspirational decision! I’m excited for you and can’t wait to read your memoir. Who would have thought that a comment made in passing would have stuck with you that way?! Thank you for sharing and I’m so glad I was able to be part of the 1010ParkPlace family. Love you, Essie x0

    • Hello Christina! I see your name here often and am grateful that you’ve stayed with me and for your support now. I will be back so this isn’t a permanent leave of absence! Take care until next time. Love, Brenda

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