I’m beginning to think I missed something big on the news. Something catastrophic in nature—like perhaps the planets have fallen out of alignment, or the gravitational pull of the moon has increased to the point it makes men and machines malfunction and go wacko. Like my computer, that was hacked by an unknown Russian entity, or so said the signature on the invasive documents most of the people on my email list received. The hack was beyond the Geek Squad and the geniuses at the Apple Store’s standard “change your password” advice. They were stumped. Thank goodness my brilliant techy friend stopped by a week later, or I’d still be unable to communicate digitally. And I think I’m pretty tech savvy.
Then there’s my brand new LG dryer that would only work for 10 minutes and then shut off, and the roofer who said he wanted to kiss me and wouldn’t shut up. Yes, from where I sit, man and machines have gone mad.
It’s alarming when the customer service people at LG’s 1-800 number put you on hold while they ask their supervisor for help. Then that person puts you on hold while they ask their supervisor, but the real rub is when none of them have an answer. So, for the last six weeks, I’ve been washing my clothes in my new LG washer, then putting them in a cardboard box and taking them to the laundromat to dry them. (No. I don’t own a plastic laundry basket. A girlfriend already asked me that.)
Something about me doesn’t fit in at my nearest laundromat—the roofer said I didn’t “look like a laundromat kind of girl”—because every week, someone there meets me at the door and asks if they can help me. The first week I answered “yes” because who knew real money only works to purchase extra time on your existing laundromat credit card? Laundromat credit card? What happened to quarters and dollar bill changers? And in order to get a laundromat credit card, you have to pay for it with another credit card, in a different machine, on the other side of the building, and it only takes MasterCard.
Now, about the roofer… First, I need to back up to the third LG supervisor, twice removed who, on another call, said my dryer vent could be clogged. Sure enough, the dryer vent cleaner—he’s been here a few times over the years—removed a pile of dog hair and lint, but since he described himself as “too fat” to climb up in my attic to check the rest of the pipes, he called a roofer he knew.
It’s been a longtime since anyone came on to me. It’s not that I missed the signs. I just hoped if I ignored them, they’d go away.
But the roofer was like a dog in heat… He hugged me before he left… Hugged me! Then, 10 minutes later, he called and said he’d never done this before, but he had this overwhelming desire to kiss me. I’m guessing this approach has worked before… The lady of the house was home alone, and perhaps she invited him back? Who knows, but my alarm bells were telling me to tread lightly—this guy could have some screws loose—so I told him that while I was flattered, I was sorry if I’d done anything to make him misread the situation.
“No, you didn’t,” he said. “But I’m hoping you’ll tell me to turn around and come back.”
Seriously?
So back to my original question: Have the planets fallen out of alignment? Am I missing something?
17 thoughts on “HAVE THE PLANETS FALLEN OUT OF ALIGNMENT?”
omg, I love this blog. The roofer tho . The planets are definitely spinning differently
Was he hot?
Something strange happening…. definitely…
Oh no, I’m getting my roof fixed on Friday……..
Wow Brenda,
Sounds like some extra sparks and twinkle whirling around in your space!!! lol
Not sure who you call for that one, the ghostbusters team has been disbanded! Have yourself a chance for some new writing material maybe. Sounds interesting
Haha! Ghostbusters! Good one Susan. I’ve not met you in person but I know enough to agree with the roofer and say “you’re not a laundromat kind of girl.” You’re elegant, together and polished! Oh, Brenda! This is hysterical.
Mercury retrograde?? Yes, some odd things seem to be happening but this too will pass 🙂
Have you checked your horoscope lately? At least you might have had some advance warning.
All I can say is I lead a boring life compared to yours.
These sound like things that happen to me – I was laughing so hard Brenda, not at your expense, but at the feeling that this is like a deja vu of something that has happened to me. This post is too funny!
Wow….sometimes things really do go crazy!!! Regarding machines, I decided
after some similar situations, when possible to buy machines that do not have bells and whistles and an electronic components that wears out way before the rest of the machine. A repair person told me the simpler the machine, the longer it will last….the electric panel usually goes first and costs the most! Just like with doctors I always ask what would you buy? It is amazing what you can find out and also how well simple things work!!!
What planets?
Men are strange. As one, I know all too well. One of the things at which we seem to excel, is the complete inability to comprehend nuance, especially regarding our gender compliment.
I hope Annie is doing well!
ps. bated anticipation doesn’t begin to describe the arrival 5/20 of Maya Blue!
I remember my Nana would always serve espresso and biscotti to the gas man or meter man..front door always unlocked..now it’s Fort Knox at my house and I don’t even want to make eye contact with repairmen..lol – what a shame..always an adventure!
Received a letter from the city, we are under water restrictions because of drought. How in the world will I survive with only 2000 gallons allowed? Looks like I will be going to the laundromat to wash even though I have a new washer and dryer. Yes crazy times. I also am not a laundromat girl but tough times call for this.
Received a letter from the city, we are under water restrictions because of drought. How in the world will I survive with only 2000 gallons allowed? Looks like I will be going to the laundromat to wash even though I have a new washer and dryer. Yes crazy times. I also am not a laundromat girl but tough times call for this.
Hi there
I laughed all the way to bed after reading about the roofer! And I’m starting to laugh again.
I always goggle problems to see if I can get an answer.
I got an e-mail from “you”, I knew it was not from you as it was not your style so did not open the attachment.
Speaking of Apple – a lot sure depends on who you get. I couldn’t get into my account – 1st tech of no help. Came back in eve got a different tech – oh sure I can help – open and running in 1/2 hr.
Another told me I needed a new MacBook – as old etc -problem can’t be fixed – yes it is old but the next tech told me to go to a 3rd party and buy a new battery! Yeah all’s been well now for 7 months.
Planets definitely out of alignment – guy did not stop the other day – he was dumbfounded that he hit my car! Well of course if you didn’t stop like you should have then you would hit me!
Glad you’re blog is up and running again.