This week I’d planned to share some of my favorite “things,” but instead I thought I’d share some of my favorite people: Two women who’ve come into my life in the last ten years who are now among my most cherished friends, and I caught up with both of them last week in New York City.
“If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” From Sandra Oh’s character, Christina Yang, in Grey’s Anatomy.
Don’t you love it? Louis Vuitton’s NYC flagship store is under renovation, and they’ve covered the construction site in classic LV luggage complete with their signature locks and chrome-plated, laser-cut steel hardware. The largest handle on the building weights 5,000 pounds!
One of the women I met ten years ago while we were waiting for the light to change on the corner of 50th and Lexington in New York City. While we waited, I noticed she was wearing a lymphedema sleeve, which told me she’d probably had breast cancer like me. I remember smiling and holding my arm up so she could see I was wearing the same compression sleeve, which started a conversation as we kept walking in the same direction. Since our “introduction” was on such a personal level, we skipped the usual get-to-know-you chit chat and agreed to meet later for a glass of wine, which turned into dinner and the beginnings of a treasured friendship. Since then, we’ve traveled together, and we continue to be amazed by all the things we have in common. Our similarities range from profound and scary—those will remain our secrets—to the weird and even trivial, like we each own the same three obscure purses. Our life experiences resonate on such a level that we affectionately call one another “Dop” as in we’re one another’s doppelgänger.
The second woman I met at a week-long writers’ retreat where we spent a lot of time reading our work aloud and commenting on one another’s writing. All of us had written about intimate things most people didn’t know about us. I’ve never bonded with a group of women I didn’t know as quickly as I did with them, and we will be friends forever.
What is happening to me? I’ve never been a jewelry girl. Just cameras. Now I’m falling in love with pieces I can’t afford unless I win the lottery! I asked one of my girlfriends if she thought this necklace would go with blue jeans? “Yes,” she said. “It will go great with blue jeans and a bodyguard.”
A couple of years ago I introduced the women to one another, and last week, we all got together and trooped from one end of the city to the other, attended a private trunk show, shopped for purses and jewelry, ate fabulous food, and speculated about whether the guy at the next table was really Harry Styles. But least you think we have superficial relationships, our conversations are deep and meaningful. More importantly, we’re supportive of one another.
They don’t know it, but they’re the ones I would call to help me drag the corpse across the floor, and I hope they would call me to do the same thing.
Snazzy entrance to my hotel room.
When we reach a certain age, many of us have decided we have all the friends we need so we don’t think about making new friends. Then there are those who would love to have more friends, but we don’t know where to start. The older we get, the harder it is to form real and lasting friendships. Plus it’s difficult to trust someone new to the point where we share our stories and the most sacred parts of our lives.
I don’t have the magic formula for how to meet new friends, but the relationships with the two women I’ve told you about are examples of why we might think about extending ourselves more. Why we shouldn’t be afraid to say “hello” to a stranger, or to open our heart to someone new.
Really great women friendships are rare. Don’t be afraid to discover a new one.
13 thoughts on “BRENDA COFFEE’S FAVORITE PEOPLE”
“Yes, it goes with blue jeans and a bodyguard!” Hilarious Brenda. I can see why you like these women. Xo, Barb
Glad you got the link problem solved and I could open your email because this was a lovely blog post. Making friends after a certain age is a real problem staring with where do we find them?
I understand where you’re coming from. I turned 75 today! Thinking how fortunate I am to still be here. It is so very hard to meet new people & call them a friend. I live in a small older community where I think of everyone as friends, but really not deep enough to share my inner most feelings & thoughts. It’s hard to trust. You are so lucky to have found these 2 ladies.❤️
Happy Birthday, Susan!!!I can certainly relate. Take care and have a beautiful day! You’re not alone.
I understand where you’re coming from. I turned 75 today! Thinking how fortunate I am to still be here. It is so very hard to meet new people & call them a friend. I live in a small older community where I think of everyone as friends, but really not deep enough to share my inner most feelings & thoughts. It’s hard to trust. You are so lucky to have found these 2 ladies.❤️
I love this, Brenda what a wonderful friendship you ladies have developed. Friendships are so important as we age especailly girlfriends!!
Oh Brenda, you’re so fortunate to have found such good friends. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you? To have good friends, you have to be a good friend and without any doubt you are a very good one.
Your post comes at a profound time for me. My best friend died a few months ago and I’m feeling a little lost. We’d been friends since college and new everything about one another. I can’t imagine finding another friend like that.
I would love more friends. My best friend moved away a few years ago. We keep in touch and do see each other from time to time. It is very difficult to meet new people at this stage of life. You are very lucky to have met these two women. I’m a little jealous 🙂
Unfortunately as we get older we begin to lose childhood friends and others we’ve gained through the years.
I now know more people in the town cemetery than I know alive. It’s very depressing and lonely at times. I still have a few friends and one I’ve had for over sixty years that would be the one to drag the body lol. As we age I find people a little Leary of reaching out to be a friend.
Brenda, I have no doubt you are on their list too!!! Loved this column! ❤️
I just started sitting in a women’s circle in Septmber. I knew most of these women and asked if I could join. They said yes! I’m the oldest woman in it at 68. Some are in their early 30’s, early 40’s and two in their 50’s.We go deep together. I look forward to growing these relationship so much.
What an uplifting article about friendships, Brenda. At 74, and newly solo after a long marriage, I depend on my friends to have a laugh, and meaningful conversations. I am a thoughtful & generous friend , so when a woman I have come to rely on for engaging conversation and some comic relief, backs away a couple of months ago, when I really needed to have her calming presence , it is confusing . I am not sure if I should contact to express that. Texting may not give the best interpretation of what she actually meant back in early August… but maybe I am not realizing she was saying goodbye and good luck. Two younger friends think she’s breaking off the friendship. It’s a puzzle and taking up space in my head .