— Archives —

— Relationships —

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We were at the pier in Provincetown, Massachusetts, and so, so young. I watched off to the side as my boyfriend negotiated with the street vendor and eventually wore him down.

“The guy wanted $10,” he told me, holding the kalimba in his hand as he walked back to me. I would have gone down to $6, but I got it for $4!”

I would have just pulled a $10-dollar bill out of my pocket because I hated to negotiate as much as it fueled him. Continue Reading

— Style —

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My birthday is coming, so my driver’s license needs to be renewed. I can’t recall this being any big deal. You go to the Motor Vehicle Department, take a number, and wait.

But not this year.

I’m thinking about that postage stamp-sized photograph they take of you. I’m not crazy about the way I look in pictures these days. “Bitchy Resting Face” creeps in often when I’m not totally prepared for the camera click.

So I’m going to do all I can to make it a pretty one. A good night’s sleep, expensive highlights, and top-shelf makeup — three things I subscribe to religiously — will help in my campaign.

There’s no good reason to care about the tiny photo on my driver’s license, of course. The only person who’ll ever see it will be a state trooper who’s already annoyed that I’ve been speeding. It’s rather unlikely that I’ll hear, “Wow! That’s a great picture of you.”

I don’t care. I jazz myself up as if I have tickets to the best show in town, followed by a dinner date of epic proportions. And then I get in line with about 100 other people who clearly have not primped the way I have.

While I wait, I think about an old friend I used to visit after she moved into assisted living. And by old, I mean 92. Every Tuesday, she’d be on the sofa in her little sitting room, with The Price is Right blaring. She was always put together — mascara, lipstick, and blush in just the right shades.

Her hair — a stunning, pure white — was both her pride and joy and the bane of her existence. Her most used line back then: “Don’t you think my hair is too bumpy on this side?”

If I took a picture of her, she had to have first refusal.

Once in a while, she’d ask me to file her nails, something she could no longer do herself. Her hands were veiny and mottled and so thin I was afraid of holding them too hard.

She’d say, “I used to have such beautiful hands.”

I would answer, “You still do.” And I was right. Yes, they were old, but they were the hands that had held her babies. Did her housework. Typed in the secretarial pool. Punctuated her stories in the air with gusto. They were the story of her lifetime.

At the Motor Vehicle Department, I passed the eye test with an enthusiastic, “Awesome!” from the clerk. Then she said, “Smile,” and I waited to see the photographic magic that my extra effort had made.

At first I was disappointed. I thought my eyes could have looked brighter, my hair shinier.

Then I took a breath and looked again. Kinder, this time. What I’ve lost in rosy glow I make up for with a more knowing smile. My lips are thinner; my heart is smarter. The story of my lifetime. Beautiful.

— Life —

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The train is sold out. I’m hoping for a seatmate who will sleep. I know there are people who have found their soulmates on public transportation, but I’m convinced I’m not one of them.

“Is this seat taken?” He’s about my age, nice looking and smells good.

During my years of work travel, I discovered a universal truth. There are two types of seatmates: Ignorers and Chatters. Continue Reading

— Relationships —

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The summer of ’66 was a good one. My parents let me buy a lemon yellow bikini. My best friend’s brother was required to take us along to the beach, and even though we had to sit in the back seat and weren’t allowed to sing along to radio, we were in heaven.

One tiny pocket of discomfort that year came via my grandmother. She was vacationing in Rome, without my grandfather, who had opted to stay home and run the family business.

Continue Reading